Imposter Syndrome

 Hey now, you thought you'd never hear from me again I bet. Well... Here I am, still surviving and creating space in New York. I am finishing up my grad program at Columbia trying to find out what I will move on to next. Truthfully, I am so excited to begin reading for enjoyment again that I may just take some time off to fill my time with escaping into a book. I feel that through my time in grad school I have really blossomed into an adult. Not academically, but more so in how I handle situations with people. I have tried to learn to give more grace because I dont know what their situation is and I really can't ever know what someone is going through. I am eternally grateful for the opportunities I have had in life. Many of which, I worked hard for, but many that were given to me. 

I am still here going through life feeling major imposter syndrome. There is one thing though that I know I got right, and that is my relationship with Alex and the family unit we have created. Guys, this man is amazing, this life we have worked so very hard for has been incredibly rewarding. We both work so hard to create space for each others aspirations and help one another as much as possible. Our personalities balance each other out and things that I struggle with he excels on and vice versa. I truly feel like the universe has guided us here together and it has been truly wonderful to live through. 

To catch you up, we adopted another dog and named her Madison. She is a ball of energy and carries so many of the same characteristics that Molly had. It is so crazy to see her do some things and just know that Molly would also do those things. It took literally a year for Lexi to come around and they are the BEST of friends. I mean that first year was so hard, I was thinking we'd have to get rid of Madison because Lexi just could not come to terms with another dog living in the house. One day something just flipped, and she just decided that she was in love with her and she needed to have her bestie. They just really became two peas in a pod and thank the lord. 

In a few days I will walk across that stage to pick up my diploma for Grad school. Although, I will still need to complete two more classes to finish over the summer, I choose to walk in this ceremony. I am ecstatic to be done with homework, arbitrary reading and sitting in class. I will miss the experience of being a student though, that includes all the student discounts. The most difficult time for me in school is the end, mainly being able to see the finish line but knowing there is still some more to do before I can close this chapter. I have met and collaborated with so many wonderful people and I am so lucky that I was able to experience this for free basically. Since I work here at Columbia, I was able to get my tuition paid for, with the exception of student fees. So I basically was able to get this incredible education for a fraction of the price. The say that I am grateful is a complete understatement. Some things I have learned along the way are:

1. If you are going to do it, do it right. 

2. Utilize AI as a study tool, search engine, and companion. DONT use it to cheat. 

3. Don't be afraid to sound stupid. Ask the questions because I am sure there is one person that has the same question. 

4. If you are working in groups, create a team charter. Outline expectations and hold each other accountable. 

I dedicated a lot of evenings and weekends to this program and I am so burned out from doing part time, I cannot imagine doing this full time. Thankfully, I am almost done and am now contemplating going back for my PhD. I think I may be crazy, but I can equate this to a runners high. I am worked for so long and done so much for this that I will not know what do with myself after I am done. I've committed to learning the ropes of the FX3s we have. Alex has been wonderful at learning all the intricate details of the FX3s we own for his business. I know basics but I did tell him after I was done with school, I would buckle down and learn the camera so I can really help shoot. Two camera operators are better than one, they say. 

On this note, I must say goodbye for now. I am finishing up finals and need to get back to studying. Till next time....

XO 

Lynds