Glowgetter

Today is the day! I am off for two weeks paid after today because of Christmas. What a great company I work for. Yay I am going to finish shopping and have some dinner with some girlfriends from school. As my time for my GSV surgery comes closer I cant help but think of a new life that will be available to me. I have told only a few people including one coworker that I can say I trust completely. She is really supportive, but I cant help but think that I am still getting the doubtful feelings from the people that know. My grandmother knows, not sure if I mentioned that but she does. And since she is so excited for me to be skinny she was soooo excited. I am not sure if I should be grateful or offended, the first thing she asked me was "Will your mom be doing it too?"!!!!! Wow, although my mother needs to get serious too I cant for one second get one ounce of reassurance for my own shit. Its always been is your mom going to get serious about getting skinny blah blah. I know ...

So it is now Friday evening, last night was intense. So much food and so little time, the one thing I hate about the holidays is how much I am reminded that I am fat. I don't feel as fat as I look in pictures or mirrors. I finally told my grandmother about my surgery, she is excited of course. She likes to make me feel like shit even if she doesn't mean it. I think it must be her time when she grew up where women had to be skinny and if they wernt they we're going to try everything they had to get there. I have been trying to drink at least 32 oz of water everyday but that is so hard! First world problems right lol but crap it is hard. I feel kind of crispy today because I didn't drink as much water as I should have so I am feeling dehydrated today. Oh crap how could I forget this, I went to hug my sweet little cousin and she asked me if I had a baby in my belly. My natural reaction was to tell her that it was a food baby. But no then she asked why my belly was so big...

Happy thanksgiving y'all! I am feeding the homeless today with a club at the school I work for. This is the first year I haven't worked a job on thanksgiving so I am volunteering. This is the most difficult holiday for me because of all the food. I could not have my surgery this week. Too much good food to miss!😍 I am nervous I don't really know what to expect. I will keep this short and after I'm done I will get the full run down. Have a great day.

Well I should start off by introducing myself. My name is Lyndsey and I am a fat girl. Not to get it twisted with fit fat but I am legitimately fat fat. I have not always been fat fat, there were times in my childhood years that I was fit fat. I played soccer for 14 years and during those 14 years I thought I was fat fat. Well I was wrong, I don't think I have ever been that fit in my entire life. The thing that i was confused about was yeah I might have thought I was fat then but I was also comparing myself to the SOCCER GIRLS. If anyone has ever played soccer you would know that those girls are fit! They run and sprint and don't even get sweaty. How dare they! But I couldn't hate them they were all my friends and even I knew that since I was a keeper I was considered the fat one. Keepers or goalies as some call it, are the hardest working on the team. Yeah sure I am biased but hey who isn't now and days?! I worked my ass off, no I didn't run as much as those oth...