ME in a nutshell
Well I should start off by introducing myself. My name is Lyndsey and I am a fat girl. Not to get it twisted with fit fat but I am legitimately fat fat. I have not always been fat fat, there were times in my childhood years that I was fit fat. I played soccer for 14 years and during those 14 years I thought I was fat fat. Well I was wrong, I don't think I have ever been that fit in my entire life. The thing that i was confused about was yeah I might have thought I was fat then but I was also comparing myself to the SOCCER GIRLS.
If anyone has ever played soccer you would know that those girls are fit! They run and sprint and don't even get sweaty. How dare they! But I couldn't hate them they were all my friends and even I knew that since I was a keeper I was considered the fat one. Keepers or goalies as some call it, are the hardest working on the team. Yeah sure I am biased but hey who isn't now and days?! I worked my ass off, no I didn't run as much as those other girls but I worked hard for my team. No counting how many times I was kicked in the face, pushed, punched, and slid into. These were my most exciting years where I got nicknamed the bulldog. I loved that name because at the time I felt like I could run anyone over. Little did I know they named me that because I literally ran girls over. I did not hesitate to get that ball and if it meant sliding into one of those girls then ok it was done. I was fearless, if you were to get me out there now, oh hell no!!! I like my teeth.
I have used my comedic sense of humor to hide the fact that I am fat, although the words I spew out will never hide what I really am. I have always heard that I have a great personality or I am the funny one, shit you know how tiring it gets. It is hard pretending every frigging day that you are hiding your fat by your sarcastic sense of humor.
Fast forward to today, I am now working in an office mostly sedentary and can hardly tie my damn shoe without thinking I am going to die. This weight has been a huge struggle for me for my whole life and not until recently have I decided that I am frigging tired of it. I cant even walk up two flights of stairs without having to stop and breathe. This is a sad realization to me that I used to be able to run up stairs and now nothing. Its ok I have really decided that this is not for me and come to terms with the fat girl part of life.
I am no longer upset and crying to make myself feel better. Those days are long gone! I used to think that crying would solve all my problems. Nope all that did was make me more upset, then you turn around one day and realize you spent half of your teen years crying because someone was mean or called you fat. Who cares the people that do that are useless individuals, obviously they have nothing good to contribute to society. This is where I am left after countless times of trying to lose weight with trainers, gyms, pills, low carb, no carb, don't eat after 6pm, no pops, only vegetarian blah it is a circle of shit. You DIET and then after you lose the weight you want you never stick to the diet. It gets old and tiring after awhile.
MY PLAN:
Well I have decided that I am going to have WLS. I have spent hours upon hours researching what is right for me and how to go about doing it safely. I sat down with my mom and decided that she has to know. I am not going through my insurance, I don't have time for that, I am paying out of pocket and going to TJ. Yes Mexico, I was hesitant at first but after many hours of research decided that it was safe enough to venture there. I am going through an agency called BELIGHTWEIGHT.com. I was assigned a surgeon, whom I have done extensive research on. Did you know that there are more WLS preformed in Mexico than any other state? There are people from Canada, USA and other countries going to Mexico to have this surgery!
The Dr. is highly trained and certified, he speaks English and has done many of these gastric sleeve surgeries. I fully trust him with my tummy. What goes on with sleeving is; they pump you full of air and cut 80 percent of your stomach away. Take the old stomach and stitch up the remaining 20 percent you have left and bam good as new. The surgery is laproscopic and will take less that 2 hours. I was hesitant on the procedure but found out that this procedure is the safest and quickest recovery time. The procedure also doesn't restrict anything you eat after you heal. Obviously you will have a pouch the size of a banana, but it is your choice what you put in it. My surgery is scheduled for Jan 23rd. It can not come soon enough.
I want to share my journey with my friends and family but since they are so judgemental they will not know until after I have the surgery. I decided to keep the blog a secret until I am done whit my surgery and share my story with them if they feel the need to know. I know I have to actively try to keep my weight down so I am ready to make this change in my life. Wish me luck!
If anyone has ever played soccer you would know that those girls are fit! They run and sprint and don't even get sweaty. How dare they! But I couldn't hate them they were all my friends and even I knew that since I was a keeper I was considered the fat one. Keepers or goalies as some call it, are the hardest working on the team. Yeah sure I am biased but hey who isn't now and days?! I worked my ass off, no I didn't run as much as those other girls but I worked hard for my team. No counting how many times I was kicked in the face, pushed, punched, and slid into. These were my most exciting years where I got nicknamed the bulldog. I loved that name because at the time I felt like I could run anyone over. Little did I know they named me that because I literally ran girls over. I did not hesitate to get that ball and if it meant sliding into one of those girls then ok it was done. I was fearless, if you were to get me out there now, oh hell no!!! I like my teeth.
I have used my comedic sense of humor to hide the fact that I am fat, although the words I spew out will never hide what I really am. I have always heard that I have a great personality or I am the funny one, shit you know how tiring it gets. It is hard pretending every frigging day that you are hiding your fat by your sarcastic sense of humor.
Fast forward to today, I am now working in an office mostly sedentary and can hardly tie my damn shoe without thinking I am going to die. This weight has been a huge struggle for me for my whole life and not until recently have I decided that I am frigging tired of it. I cant even walk up two flights of stairs without having to stop and breathe. This is a sad realization to me that I used to be able to run up stairs and now nothing. Its ok I have really decided that this is not for me and come to terms with the fat girl part of life.
I am no longer upset and crying to make myself feel better. Those days are long gone! I used to think that crying would solve all my problems. Nope all that did was make me more upset, then you turn around one day and realize you spent half of your teen years crying because someone was mean or called you fat. Who cares the people that do that are useless individuals, obviously they have nothing good to contribute to society. This is where I am left after countless times of trying to lose weight with trainers, gyms, pills, low carb, no carb, don't eat after 6pm, no pops, only vegetarian blah it is a circle of shit. You DIET and then after you lose the weight you want you never stick to the diet. It gets old and tiring after awhile.
MY PLAN:
Well I have decided that I am going to have WLS. I have spent hours upon hours researching what is right for me and how to go about doing it safely. I sat down with my mom and decided that she has to know. I am not going through my insurance, I don't have time for that, I am paying out of pocket and going to TJ. Yes Mexico, I was hesitant at first but after many hours of research decided that it was safe enough to venture there. I am going through an agency called BELIGHTWEIGHT.com. I was assigned a surgeon, whom I have done extensive research on. Did you know that there are more WLS preformed in Mexico than any other state? There are people from Canada, USA and other countries going to Mexico to have this surgery!
The Dr. is highly trained and certified, he speaks English and has done many of these gastric sleeve surgeries. I fully trust him with my tummy. What goes on with sleeving is; they pump you full of air and cut 80 percent of your stomach away. Take the old stomach and stitch up the remaining 20 percent you have left and bam good as new. The surgery is laproscopic and will take less that 2 hours. I was hesitant on the procedure but found out that this procedure is the safest and quickest recovery time. The procedure also doesn't restrict anything you eat after you heal. Obviously you will have a pouch the size of a banana, but it is your choice what you put in it. My surgery is scheduled for Jan 23rd. It can not come soon enough.
I want to share my journey with my friends and family but since they are so judgemental they will not know until after I have the surgery. I decided to keep the blog a secret until I am done whit my surgery and share my story with them if they feel the need to know. I know I have to actively try to keep my weight down so I am ready to make this change in my life. Wish me luck!
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