Pregnancy in Your 30's, Q's and A's with my Doctor
Before I begin I want to say that this post is strictly based off my experience, and not my medical knowledge. I wanted to share some thoughts and opinions about what I was told the last time I visited my OBGYN.
I know for some of my male readers this is not too interesting, so for that I'd say you can move along. I promise it wont hurt my feelings. The last Friday in April I had a scheduled appointment with my lady doctor. I was stoked to finally visit the doctor after about 3 years of no OBGYN related visits. Not that I thought there was anything wrong, but its nice to visit and check on things. Also, I was truly stoked because I just switched to Kaiser, and the last time I had Kaiser as my insurance I was not physically in the best place in my life.
So the day begins as such, check in of course! Thanks to the affordable care act my preventative care visits are FREE!!! I'm telling you if this is not a reason to go, I dont know what is...
I sit down and immediately get called back. I was shocked, but also kinda sad because I didnt get to scope out the new waiting room, or skim through social media. You know run through the basics of waiting room etiquette. The nurse asks me to sit down and she proceeded to take my temp, blood pressure and weight. All the not so fun stuff they make you do there. I immediately get butterflies because this is the first time meeting this doctor, and of course she will have her head all in my business. I wanted to try to get to know her, but I know these physicians are pressed for time. So I undress from the bottoms down, as directed and wait.
The doctor walks in like a breath of fresh air, like literally, she floats into the exam room. I am thrilled because she is young, hip and totally my style. She came to me as a referral by a friend... Thank you Megan by the way. 👱
We get to talking about our lives, the get to know you game, and she was just so knowledgeable and friendly. We touch on the topic of pregnancy, and she asked me point blank, "Will you be having children?" Well yes of course, I spoke with Alex and we decided that one child would be plenty to handle. For many years I have always been the auntie, but never a mom. Quite frankly, I was ok with that because I felt like I didn't meet the right man I'd want to have a family with. I finally have found someone that I feel will be a good father, and help me co parent to raise the right baby. But I have learned that it's not as easy as a decision to have a baby. It's your bodies ability to actually conceive and carry a baby. After talking about it very frankly for 10 minutes or so, she explained to me that if I should decided that I wanted a baby, I should consider doing it within the next 3 to 4 years.
I am not sure of the look I gave, because she cracked a smile and said, "I know its a lot to think about, but infertility is a huge issue." She later proceeded to tell me that women now and days struggle with the "P" word, and they get discouraged. In fact she told me that she had issues conceiving. I started to think about this for a minute feeling as if I was in some time warp bubble. Recently, I had the weirdest dream, I woke up utterly confused, and really discouraged at myself.
Back story is that in my dream that I had recently, Alex asked me to marry him (weird) but after he did, he told me his parents wanted me to go to the doctor to make sure I was healthy and able to have babies. I know what you're thinking, it is totally just a dream, and I am aware of this. However, I feel like sometimes our brain does silly things to us when we sleep. In my opinion, our dreams tend to bring up questions, or situations that we subconsciously think about. I have always been pretty paranoid that I would never be able to have a baby. There has been no medical diagnosis that would state that would be unable to, but I think it is a fear that a lot of women have. Especially since infertility has been the height of all my feeds on social media lately.
I can't help but feel for my friends and family when they try so hard to conceive, and have a difficult time. I think it has always been in the back of my mind, what if I can't have a baby? Who will love me? I know that last statement sounds ridiculous, because having a baby does not define a woman, but for me, I feel as if it would. A lot of that has to do with deeper emotional things that I can discuss at a later time. But for the time being, the stress of finding a man I love, and wanting to have a child seems like the only thing I want to do. As a young child it was what I was told I needed to do. Silly I know!
As I sit on the exam table openly talking with my doctor, she explained to me the struggles she went through trying to conceive. She mentioned that most women only have a little hiccup with conceiving. Most of the time all they need to do is get some blood work done, and simply take a pill. BAM pregnant. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women that have to go through many expensive, time consuming tests. Including IVF, and surrogacy. In most cases, this is not covered by insurance, and can cost upwards of 50 thousand dollars!!! What in the heck, so down payment on a house, or having a baby. I would choose baby, and I know speaking from watching the struggles of my friends they did too. It is expensive, and sometimes it yields nothing.
I made sure I asked her some questions regarding the process of knowing if you will have a hard time getting pregnant. My very first thought was crap does birth control have anything to do with hurting my chances of getting pregnant? So I asked.... She explained to me that there used to be a big misconception about birth control related to infertility. Even more specifically the IUD form, since this is my choice for BC. For those of you that don't know IUD is a Intrauterine Device, that is shaped like a little "T". Some women chose to go hormone free, with the copper version, or low dosage Progestin which is a localized hormone to help prevent pregnancy. Below you can find a picture showing what it is and how that little contraption works.
She explained in further detail that some women will just naturally have a hard time getting pregnant. She has some patients that have been taking BC pills, then switched to IUD, and after getting off the BC they immediately got pregnant. Then she had others that took 6 to 8 months to get pregnant. I know for most of my friends, it is something we will worry about.
The next question I asked referred to age, and how the heck do I know when it is too late? Her answer for me was, "well as soon as you hit 30 your time clock begins the tick". HOLY FRICK! So I am 30 obviously, and my maternal clock has begun! She recommended that if I planned on having more than one child to start sooner than later, because as I age, my eggs become a bit few and far between. Furthermore, the eggs that drop could be not as "healthy". She means the older my eggs get the more likelihood that the eggs genetic normalcy is decreased. So this would leave me and Alex with a higher chance of having a child with genetic deformities. This has most definitely opened my eyes.
I really had to sit back and just be so grateful for this doctor, and the things she is telling me. It hurts that she is cutting my adventure time to and from New York or wherever I may go, but she really brought so much into the forefront of my mind regarding children. It is something that most people take for granted, and watching my friends struggle with this problem, I see how hurt they are by it. I don't ever want to experience this kind of pain.
I know for some of my male readers this is not too interesting, so for that I'd say you can move along. I promise it wont hurt my feelings. The last Friday in April I had a scheduled appointment with my lady doctor. I was stoked to finally visit the doctor after about 3 years of no OBGYN related visits. Not that I thought there was anything wrong, but its nice to visit and check on things. Also, I was truly stoked because I just switched to Kaiser, and the last time I had Kaiser as my insurance I was not physically in the best place in my life.
So the day begins as such, check in of course! Thanks to the affordable care act my preventative care visits are FREE!!! I'm telling you if this is not a reason to go, I dont know what is...
I sit down and immediately get called back. I was shocked, but also kinda sad because I didnt get to scope out the new waiting room, or skim through social media. You know run through the basics of waiting room etiquette. The nurse asks me to sit down and she proceeded to take my temp, blood pressure and weight. All the not so fun stuff they make you do there. I immediately get butterflies because this is the first time meeting this doctor, and of course she will have her head all in my business. I wanted to try to get to know her, but I know these physicians are pressed for time. So I undress from the bottoms down, as directed and wait.
The doctor walks in like a breath of fresh air, like literally, she floats into the exam room. I am thrilled because she is young, hip and totally my style. She came to me as a referral by a friend... Thank you Megan by the way. 👱
 |
| Alex, Dekker and I |
We get to talking about our lives, the get to know you game, and she was just so knowledgeable and friendly. We touch on the topic of pregnancy, and she asked me point blank, "Will you be having children?" Well yes of course, I spoke with Alex and we decided that one child would be plenty to handle. For many years I have always been the auntie, but never a mom. Quite frankly, I was ok with that because I felt like I didn't meet the right man I'd want to have a family with. I finally have found someone that I feel will be a good father, and help me co parent to raise the right baby. But I have learned that it's not as easy as a decision to have a baby. It's your bodies ability to actually conceive and carry a baby. After talking about it very frankly for 10 minutes or so, she explained to me that if I should decided that I wanted a baby, I should consider doing it within the next 3 to 4 years.
I am not sure of the look I gave, because she cracked a smile and said, "I know its a lot to think about, but infertility is a huge issue." She later proceeded to tell me that women now and days struggle with the "P" word, and they get discouraged. In fact she told me that she had issues conceiving. I started to think about this for a minute feeling as if I was in some time warp bubble. Recently, I had the weirdest dream, I woke up utterly confused, and really discouraged at myself.
Back story is that in my dream that I had recently, Alex asked me to marry him (weird) but after he did, he told me his parents wanted me to go to the doctor to make sure I was healthy and able to have babies. I know what you're thinking, it is totally just a dream, and I am aware of this. However, I feel like sometimes our brain does silly things to us when we sleep. In my opinion, our dreams tend to bring up questions, or situations that we subconsciously think about. I have always been pretty paranoid that I would never be able to have a baby. There has been no medical diagnosis that would state that would be unable to, but I think it is a fear that a lot of women have. Especially since infertility has been the height of all my feeds on social media lately.
 |
| Circa 2015 with my nephew Thomas |
As I sit on the exam table openly talking with my doctor, she explained to me the struggles she went through trying to conceive. She mentioned that most women only have a little hiccup with conceiving. Most of the time all they need to do is get some blood work done, and simply take a pill. BAM pregnant. Unfortunately, there are a lot of women that have to go through many expensive, time consuming tests. Including IVF, and surrogacy. In most cases, this is not covered by insurance, and can cost upwards of 50 thousand dollars!!! What in the heck, so down payment on a house, or having a baby. I would choose baby, and I know speaking from watching the struggles of my friends they did too. It is expensive, and sometimes it yields nothing.
I made sure I asked her some questions regarding the process of knowing if you will have a hard time getting pregnant. My very first thought was crap does birth control have anything to do with hurting my chances of getting pregnant? So I asked.... She explained to me that there used to be a big misconception about birth control related to infertility. Even more specifically the IUD form, since this is my choice for BC. For those of you that don't know IUD is a Intrauterine Device, that is shaped like a little "T". Some women chose to go hormone free, with the copper version, or low dosage Progestin which is a localized hormone to help prevent pregnancy. Below you can find a picture showing what it is and how that little contraption works.
 |
She explained in further detail that some women will just naturally have a hard time getting pregnant. She has some patients that have been taking BC pills, then switched to IUD, and after getting off the BC they immediately got pregnant. Then she had others that took 6 to 8 months to get pregnant. I know for most of my friends, it is something we will worry about.
The next question I asked referred to age, and how the heck do I know when it is too late? Her answer for me was, "well as soon as you hit 30 your time clock begins the tick". HOLY FRICK! So I am 30 obviously, and my maternal clock has begun! She recommended that if I planned on having more than one child to start sooner than later, because as I age, my eggs become a bit few and far between. Furthermore, the eggs that drop could be not as "healthy". She means the older my eggs get the more likelihood that the eggs genetic normalcy is decreased. So this would leave me and Alex with a higher chance of having a child with genetic deformities. This has most definitely opened my eyes.
 |
| Taken from Bloomberg.com 5/11/18 |
I really had to sit back and just be so grateful for this doctor, and the things she is telling me. It hurts that she is cutting my adventure time to and from New York or wherever I may go, but she really brought so much into the forefront of my mind regarding children. It is something that most people take for granted, and watching my friends struggle with this problem, I see how hurt they are by it. I don't ever want to experience this kind of pain.
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