International Woman's Day
Friends today is a significant day because it is a celebration of women. Strong women, smart women, caring women, and every woman in between. What does it mean to be a woman in today's society?
Woman, being the mother, cares for the children, prepares the meals, cleans the house, etc. While the man, looked at as a male, goes to work, teaches his children the fundamentals of responsibilities, and manual labor. The man's role is to be the provider, and the back bone of the house.
Why though, must most American families look at these roles in such a clear cut way? Why do many is western society believe that the only caring, nurturing role model in the house is a woman? My thoughts on this topic, well, it is because most woman from these types of families like being recognized for this role. Not only this, but most women were never taught that they could be anything different. Some of these women aspire to be the team mom, stay at home parent, and of course that is absolutely an amazing and hard job in itself. But lets for a moment look at the bigger picture, what if the roles were reversed? What if the male figure in the home was looked at as a nurturing, warm entity and the female was the "provider" and the hard working partner? Do you believe that things would be different? Do you believe that the male partner would undoubtedly take this role on?
If you look at both sides then some will say yes. The argument is that these men would know nothing different. They would be born into this world, and taught that they needed to stay home and care for the children and home. However, what would happen if these stay at home dads decided that they didn't want to live this life? Would there be an uproar around the community because these males "know their roles in the home" and men are meant to stay in the home? Or would these males emasculate themselves and become complacent? One would think yes, men would feel entrapped just like some of today's women. This is something that universally has become a hot topic today.
Not to get on my high horse and try to preach about how men and woman are created equal, blah blah. But to really put it into perspective. Really look at these traditional roles that really are the embedded in today's society. Women are expected to wear so many hats, we raise the children, we run the home and continually go without thanks or appreciation. Not only from the men in our lives, but the other women too. In the culture of small communities, and even large religious communities, women are expected to play this very important role. Women are expected to move mountains and do it without a peep. In most cases we as women yearn for that appreciation, and acceptance. We go to great lengths to find the one friend, family member or community member that will feel the same things, and reach out to tell us, "you're not alone, you're doing a great job".
But for many women, they simply don't get this. It is not to say that men are incapable, of showing that type of affection or affirmation, but sometimes from fellow women, is something we compete for. We love when other women see us, and know our struggles, because they are there with us. These other women know our struggles and can offer a helping hand when we need it the most. That is to say it is in the form of a kind word, a sweet gesture.
I want to circle back to men and the very important roles they play in woman's lives. We cannot blame all the men, all of the time. In fact unless we communicate these needs we will simply never get them. They don't know the mental, or psychological experiences we need to be fulfilled. They are wired completely different. One thing that works for us, may not work for them. We cannot blame them for something they have no control over.
We as woman need to be able to fully communicate our needs to our partners, friends and family. Sometimes, we need to say them numerous times. Then magically one day they just click. These people start to fulfill us with the things we crave, and need to be happy. We as woman should never be afraid to ask for what we truly need. We as woman should never feel as if we are burdening people with our wants and needs. If there is ever a feeling that we are, then it is time to look around and find out how to get what we want. Even if that means leaving our situations and starting fresh. And I will tell you that is something that is scary as hell.
I was unfortunately affected by this type of unbalanced love. For many years I grew up in a single parent household, where my mother performed the roles of mother and father. I wont lie, I resented her for a long time because I thought that she was the reason I was growing up only knowing the love of a mother. However, after I really sat down and opened my eyes, I learned that in fact she was the strongest person I knew. She, like many single mothers and fathers, play the role they never thought they would. Let me tell you ladies and gents, there is no handbook on how to raise a child. No handbook on how to be both mother and father. She did the best she could, given the circumstances. And it takes many years for children coming from a single parent home to realize, that their parent that stuck around and did both jobs, had a hard time. They had to play nurturer, and provider. They had to play soccer mom, and disciplinarian and in the midst of all the jobs, there was no recognition.
There was no, "hey you are a human, you are doing a great job". It was just a simple expectation for these women to get it done. But this simple act is so powerful in the eyes of someone that really needs to hear the affirmation. This is why as women, we need to come together and really take a look at the other women in our lives. We need to really sit down and look at the great responsibilities these wonderful women carried before us. I for one, haven't told my mother how important she is to me enough, and how her struggles to raise me alone really made an impression on my life. I haven't told her enough of how her constant support has helped me set expectations of them woman I will become and the man I will marry one day. She took on the role, like many single parents have done, and did the best she could. This is a true example of how women will always be so resilient and over come so many obstacles in their ways. We must always remember the struggles of women before us so we can build upon their struggles. When they win, we win. So I challenge you to always take time to remember the struggles that the women in your lives have to help shape you into what you will become one day. Until next time!
XO
Lyndsey
Woman, being the mother, cares for the children, prepares the meals, cleans the house, etc. While the man, looked at as a male, goes to work, teaches his children the fundamentals of responsibilities, and manual labor. The man's role is to be the provider, and the back bone of the house.
Why though, must most American families look at these roles in such a clear cut way? Why do many is western society believe that the only caring, nurturing role model in the house is a woman? My thoughts on this topic, well, it is because most woman from these types of families like being recognized for this role. Not only this, but most women were never taught that they could be anything different. Some of these women aspire to be the team mom, stay at home parent, and of course that is absolutely an amazing and hard job in itself. But lets for a moment look at the bigger picture, what if the roles were reversed? What if the male figure in the home was looked at as a nurturing, warm entity and the female was the "provider" and the hard working partner? Do you believe that things would be different? Do you believe that the male partner would undoubtedly take this role on?If you look at both sides then some will say yes. The argument is that these men would know nothing different. They would be born into this world, and taught that they needed to stay home and care for the children and home. However, what would happen if these stay at home dads decided that they didn't want to live this life? Would there be an uproar around the community because these males "know their roles in the home" and men are meant to stay in the home? Or would these males emasculate themselves and become complacent? One would think yes, men would feel entrapped just like some of today's women. This is something that universally has become a hot topic today.
Not to get on my high horse and try to preach about how men and woman are created equal, blah blah. But to really put it into perspective. Really look at these traditional roles that really are the embedded in today's society. Women are expected to wear so many hats, we raise the children, we run the home and continually go without thanks or appreciation. Not only from the men in our lives, but the other women too. In the culture of small communities, and even large religious communities, women are expected to play this very important role. Women are expected to move mountains and do it without a peep. In most cases we as women yearn for that appreciation, and acceptance. We go to great lengths to find the one friend, family member or community member that will feel the same things, and reach out to tell us, "you're not alone, you're doing a great job".
But for many women, they simply don't get this. It is not to say that men are incapable, of showing that type of affection or affirmation, but sometimes from fellow women, is something we compete for. We love when other women see us, and know our struggles, because they are there with us. These other women know our struggles and can offer a helping hand when we need it the most. That is to say it is in the form of a kind word, a sweet gesture.
I want to circle back to men and the very important roles they play in woman's lives. We cannot blame all the men, all of the time. In fact unless we communicate these needs we will simply never get them. They don't know the mental, or psychological experiences we need to be fulfilled. They are wired completely different. One thing that works for us, may not work for them. We cannot blame them for something they have no control over.
We as woman need to be able to fully communicate our needs to our partners, friends and family. Sometimes, we need to say them numerous times. Then magically one day they just click. These people start to fulfill us with the things we crave, and need to be happy. We as woman should never be afraid to ask for what we truly need. We as woman should never feel as if we are burdening people with our wants and needs. If there is ever a feeling that we are, then it is time to look around and find out how to get what we want. Even if that means leaving our situations and starting fresh. And I will tell you that is something that is scary as hell.
I was unfortunately affected by this type of unbalanced love. For many years I grew up in a single parent household, where my mother performed the roles of mother and father. I wont lie, I resented her for a long time because I thought that she was the reason I was growing up only knowing the love of a mother. However, after I really sat down and opened my eyes, I learned that in fact she was the strongest person I knew. She, like many single mothers and fathers, play the role they never thought they would. Let me tell you ladies and gents, there is no handbook on how to raise a child. No handbook on how to be both mother and father. She did the best she could, given the circumstances. And it takes many years for children coming from a single parent home to realize, that their parent that stuck around and did both jobs, had a hard time. They had to play nurturer, and provider. They had to play soccer mom, and disciplinarian and in the midst of all the jobs, there was no recognition.There was no, "hey you are a human, you are doing a great job". It was just a simple expectation for these women to get it done. But this simple act is so powerful in the eyes of someone that really needs to hear the affirmation. This is why as women, we need to come together and really take a look at the other women in our lives. We need to really sit down and look at the great responsibilities these wonderful women carried before us. I for one, haven't told my mother how important she is to me enough, and how her struggles to raise me alone really made an impression on my life. I haven't told her enough of how her constant support has helped me set expectations of them woman I will become and the man I will marry one day. She took on the role, like many single parents have done, and did the best she could. This is a true example of how women will always be so resilient and over come so many obstacles in their ways. We must always remember the struggles of women before us so we can build upon their struggles. When they win, we win. So I challenge you to always take time to remember the struggles that the women in your lives have to help shape you into what you will become one day. Until next time!
XO
Lyndsey
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